Adventures of Magus and Crono's mom
by Rufus J ShinRa1
Summary: A story I wrote when I was high on caffine and sugar. Magus is payed 10,000 GP by Crono's mom to do housework. He reluctantly excepts. Can he surivive this insult to his pride? Find out!


THE ADVENTURES OF MAGUS AND CRONO'S MOM  
by Rufus J SHinRa  
  
I don't own Chrono trigger...blah,blah,blah  
  
Note: One of the jokes is from American Pie! I admit it!  
  
R cause they say the F-word.  
  
(Guardia,1000 A.D.)  
  
1 Year after Lavos got his ass kicked....  
  
Magus was walking through town. After helping Crono save the world he didn't have much time on his hands. He was also kind of depressed. Everytime he walked down the street people started screaming about "The return of the evil sorcerer" and whatnot. Hadn't he helped saved the world.   
  
"This is just so damn stupid." Magus said as he walked down the street carrying his scythe. People screamed as he walked through Leene square. There he saw a familliar face. Crono's mom.  
  
"Oh hello there, dear. Are you ready to talk now? I hate it when Crono has such silent freinds. Even if he's a gothic freak." Crono's mom said.  
  
"Now just a minuite there lady I'm not Crono's-" But he was cut off by Crono's mom.  
  
"Oh, shush Magus dear. Say would you help me with the house work before Crono and Marle get back home?" SHe asked.  
  
"No." Magus said but Crono's mom already grabbed his arm.  
  
"YES? Oh your so sweet dear!" She said. Magus struggled but her grip was IRON.  
  
"Ow! Fuck that hurts!" Magus screamed. Crono's mother looked angry.  
  
"Watch you language young man!" She said. Magus's red eyes opened in suprise.  
  
"Hey I'm thousands of-" He started.  
  
"That's nice dear." She said and dragged him to the house.   
  
(Crono's house)  
  
"Here." Crono's mom said handing Magus a broom. Magus was VERY suprised.  
  
"What the hell am I supposed to do with THIS?" Magus cried.  
  
"Clean the floor of course. I'll be doing the laundry." She said. Magus sighed and started sweeping the floors. the great sorcerer reduced to THIS? Maybe he should of just stayed with Ozzie....strike that Ozzie was dead. Look's like he didn't have much of a choice.   
  
"This is SO boring. I'm the damn king of the mystics for crying out loud. This was worse than my birthday party  
  
(Past)  
  
"Happy Birthday Magus!" Schala said holding up a birthday cake with at LEAST a thousand candels. Crono and Marle clapped.  
  
"Make a wish Magus!" Marle cried out.  
  
"Magus blew out the candels.  
  
"What did you wish for Magus?" Lucca asked behind Schala. Magus smiled as he looked out the window and saw a A-bomb land on Frog's house.  
  
"NO!" Frog cried out.  
  
"Another year gone by...I love birthdays!" Magus said. Crono came out with a present. Magus took it.  
  
"Let's see what we have here...." Magus said and opened up the present. It had fuzzy pink bunny slippers.  
  
"Just what I wanted." Magus said. Then he put his ear to Frog's.  
  
"Hey sounds like a watch or something. I already have one though." He said and threw it out the window where Melinchoir picked it up and was blown to bits.  
  
"And let's see what we have from Marle...." He said and opened up the present. A Clue board game.  
  
"CLUE? YOU BITCH! WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?" Magus roared. Marle stood back scared.  
  
"It's fun!" Marle said. Not too soon after she spoke the board game flew right in her face. Magus stomped off.  
  
"YOU RUINED MY PARTY!" He said and ran off crying.  
  
(Present)  
  
Magus pushed the bitter memory out of his head and finished sweeping. Crono's mom came down the stairs.  
  
"I want you to go down to the market and get some apples." She said. Magus shook his head.  
  
"No way! I'm the greatest sorcerer in the world!" Magus said. Crono's mom sighed.  
  
"I guess you don't want this 10,000 GP..." She said.  
  
"Yeah that's right stick it up your-10,000 GP?" Magus shot up.  
  
"I knew you'd come around, dear." Crono's mom said. Magus shot out the door and ran for Leene Squares marketplace.  
  
(Leene square)  
  
Magus ran to the crowd.  
  
"Excuse me where can I buy some apples?" He asked a villager. The villager screamed and held up a cross to him.  
  
"I'm not a vampire." He said. The villager ran screaming.  
  
"MAGUS IS ALIVE AGAIN! RUN!" He screamed and the whole market place cleared out. Magus spotted the apple stand, which was being run by Flea.  
  
"Flea, your alive?" Magus asked. Flea looked suprised. He turned red. The feminine man looked very angry to see Magus.  
  
"Magus your TRAITOR!" Flea said in his normal feminine voice.  
  
"I'm here to buy some apples." Magus said. Flea walked back his boobs bouncing.  
  
"Not in a million years, honey!" Flea said waving his hands. Flea soon met the end of Magus's Dark Matter spell. Flea was charred and black.  
  
"On second thought, what do you need?" Flea asked. Magus took about 14 apples and paid Flea and went back to Crono's house.  
  
(Crono's house)  
  
"Hello there dear!" I need you to finish up the laundry!" Crono's mom said. Magus shook his head his blue hair waving.  
  
"No way! I want my money lowly one!" Magus said. Crono's mom shook her head back.  
  
"ONCE you've finsished all the housework here then you may get paid!" Crono's mom said and then handed him a maid's apron.  
  
"I am not wearing THAT!" Magus said crossing his arms.   
  
"Don't worry no one will see you." Crono's mom said. Magus reluctantly put it on just as Lucca walked in the house.  
  
"Hi Crono's mom I want to borrow some-WHAT THE HELL? HA! HA! HA! HA!" Lucca said looking at Magus. Magus turned red with embarassment. Then Ayla came in.  
  
"Ayla need parts for....HA! HA! HA! SCARY BLUE MAN LOOK FUNNY!" Ayla said laughing. Magus was even more embarrased.  
  
"S-shut up..." He said trying to look away.  
  
"you look so CUTE!" Lucca said and took a picture. Ayla was still rolling on the floor laughing. Magus grumbled and picked up the laundry basket. He walked down to the washer in the basement.  
  
"Now how do you work this thing..." Magus said and pushed a button. A loud explosion rang out. Magus quickly shoved the clothes intot he washer and walked back upstairs whistiling.  
  
"Is something wrong, dear?" Crono's mom asked.  
  
"No everything is fine." Magus said. A loud meow came from downstairs and then followed by a couple of glugs.  
  
"Was that the cat?" Crono's mom asked. Magus looked up.  
  
"Ummm....no." he said. Crono's mom looked outside.  
  
"Oh dear...the grass is long again..." Crono's mom said. Magus shook his head.  
  
"I'm not mowing it. Give me my money!" He demanded.  
  
"Your not getting a single GP until you mow that lawn young man!" Crono's mother yelled.  
  
"I told you I'm from 12,000 B.C...." Magus started.  
  
"That's nice dear. Now move along!" Crono's mom said and shoved him outside where the lawn mower was. Magus sighed and started up the lawn mower. All of a sudden a bunch of passerbyes came bye.  
  
"Hey look! Magus is a yard boy!" One yelled they all started laughing.  
  
"SILENCE!!!!" Magus yelled. They didn't move.  
  
"Oh REAL scary though guy!" One yelled. He was sucked in by Magus's black hole spell. Everyone ran away screaming. Magus finished up the yard work and stormed into the house.  
  
"MONEY! NOW!" Magus demanded.  
  
"More work!" Crono's mom said.  
  
"NEVER! I've had enough! Prepare to die Devil-woman!" Magus screamed and pulled out his scythe. Crono's mom smiled and pulled out her broomstick.  
  
"Bring it on....dear." She said in a meanacing voice.  
  
(Street)  
  
Lucca ran up to Crono and Marle and showed her the picture. they both busted up laughing.  
  
"We HAVE to show this to the media!" Crono said laughing increadibly hard. Marle could barely talk becuase she was lauging so much.  
  
"That's.....the....funniest...thing....I....have...ever....seen." She said seeing the picture of Magus in an apron. Lucca, Marle and Crono all headed towards the nearest news station.  
  
(Crono's house)  
  
Magus could not BELEIVE how powerful Crono's mom was. Especially with her broom attack.  
  
"Hiyyyya!!!!" Magus screamed and started cutting away at Crono's mom with his scythe. With lightning fast speed she dodged each attack with lightning fast agility.  
  
"Is that all you have....dear?" Crono's mom asked.  
  
"DARK MATTER!!!!!!" Magus said casting the powerful spell on Crono's mother. She just absorbed it all into HP.  
  
"How the fuck? DIE!!!!" Magus said and launched himself at Crono's mom. Crono's mom simply whacked him on the head with her broom. Magus's scythe fell to the floor and he fell on his knees.  
  
"S-spare me..." He said and looked at Crono's mom. He saw somthing diffrent this time. he felt a feeling that he had never felt before.  
  
"I-I love you..." he said looking at the powerful woman in front of him. Crono's mother sighed.  
  
"Oh, Magus...are you trying to seduce me?" She said and they kissed and then Magus laid her down on the floor.  
  
"Yes I am..." Magus said.  
(Outside)  
  
Crono, Marle and Lucca laughed all the way home. Crono opened the door to his house and screamed. He saw Magus and his mother on the floor with a blanket pulled over them.  
  
"M-Mom....M-Magus?" He said VERY confused and shocked.  
  
"Hey Crono." Magus said. Crono fainted, Marle's jaw dropped tot he floor and Lucca stomped off jealous.  
  
Epilouge: Magus and Crono's mom got married, 4 months later Crono woke up from the coma he was in and realized that Magus was his stepfather he fell back into it again. Lucca in revenge posted the picture around town but no one cared. The two most powerful warriors in the world were wed now and were the WIERDIEST couple in Guardia.  
  
THE END  
  
IU laughed while I wrote this, please give some reviews so I'll have the courage to write another Maugus fanfic. No flames though. PLEASE REVEIEW PUUUUHLEASE! 


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